girl-677576_1280Yesterday I did my first periscope broadcast. Since some days I had the topic popping up in several occasions.  So I circled around it, signed up, circled around it, watched the first scopes, circled around it. And then I thought: F * K it! I’m getting naked. So, between two coaching sessions I just grabbed my phone and pushed the button. And “BOOM”, I was live. And out of a sudden over 30 people were watching! Without preparation and any concept! My inner Virgo jumped back. And then I did the only thing I could think about: I undressed myself.

When perfection becomes the procrastination

Because I shared about my perfection. And how this  quite often leads to procrastination. I officially admit: I’m a perfectionist in recovery. For so many years I stopped myself from jst doing things, because of perfection. Because they were not finished yet, still not good enough, not ready yet. Today I know that in the majority of these cases I tricked myself. The naked truth is: I used perfection as procrastination. And when I realized that, I immediately decided to start recovery.

Perfection is the Haute Couture of fear

Perfection is just another form of fear. Fear of failure, not to be good enough, not be able to perform. And perfection is the Haute Couture of fear – it’s fear at a high level. It’s when fear just wears a different dress – kind of dressed up as something it’s actually not. But this fear also ensures that I don’t show my true self, I do not show who I really am, and that I take every opportunity not to show my brilliance. As long as I fall for this trick, I stop myself from shining. When I realized  how clever this strategy is, I decided to let go of perfection. The following three questions helped me to get out of it:

  • Why is it good not to do it? What would be the worst that could happen?
  • Why is it good to do it? What would be the best thing that could happen?
  • Why do I still not do it? What else do I need?

Every time I catch myself falling for perfection and procrastination, I ask myself these questions. And I realize fairly quickly that the worst never is as bad ans my ego wants me to believe. That the best is so much better than the situation I am in right now. And there is no reason not to do what I want to do. And if I need something, then I get it. The nudges from a friend. The happy dance for the good mood. Or sometimes just the countdown to press the “send” button.

Stars instead of clouds – real instead of perfect

Because I do not need no Haute Couture – I want authenticity. I want to be real with my flaws and show up as myself. I want to dare to leave my comfort zone and find out what’s out there . I want to see the sky and not the clouds. I want to visit the oasis and not be satisfied with the Fata Morgana. And that’s why yesterday I decided to get naked.. And I will do it again. If perfection knocks at the door. I then will take a deep breath, show up as I am, and look life in the eyes. And I let myself being surprised about what shows up. Because this is much more fun, than just imagining it.

Where does perfection stop you in your life? How do you cope?